The Scary Side of Maternity Leave That No One Talks About

The Scary Side of Maternity Leave That No One Talks About

So today I want to brave the subject of maternity leave, this might be another long and honest post, so you might want to grab a cuppa and maybe even a biscuit or two (my last post was all about how I am preparing for having a baby). Maternity leave is described as that happy time where you don’t have to get up and go to work, you get to spend all day with your baby doing fun things and just soaking up all of that newborn experience. Now I am very sure that is true and I am sure maternity leave will be fantastic, but there is also a scarier side to it that not many people talk about. As much as I don’t want to take away from the amazing time it will be, it is something that has and still plays on my mind a lot. So, I thought why not stick it on the blog and see what you all think, what suggestions you have and hopefully bring a bit more awareness about it.

Losing My Independence

Ok bear with me whilst I sound incredibly dramatic, but at the moment that is exactly how I feel. I am currently in a position, where I am not entitled to maternity pay from my employer or statutory maternity pay. There is something else I can apply for, but that is all up in the air at the moment. So when I say I am losing my independence, what I mean is since I moved out at the age of 18 I have become very accustomed to providing for myself and not relying on anyone else, so the thought of not earning my full time income (which I have worked very hard over the years to get) literally scares the sh*t out of me. I mean how do bills get paid, how do we afford to live, how do we provide for a baby, the list goes on. I know everyone says it all works out, but HOW???? I am someone who needs facts, figures, examples etc for my brain to be able to process it and be ok with it and at the moment I don’t have that. The only way I have made this a bit easier for myself is cutting back now whilst I am pregnant and saving some of my money to soften the blow a little bit when I no longer get paid from work.

Being Stuck Indoors & Being Lonely 

This is another big fear of mine. I am someone who really suffers with cabin fever when I have been stuck indoors for too long. My fear is what if I get stuck indoors all day, what if I am too tired or can’t find a good routine in getting out and about? I know there will be days where I won’t feel like going out and that’s ok, but what on earth am I going to do with all my time? My other concern is who will I interact with and will I be lonely. I know that having a baby means technically I will not be alone, but what about adult interaction. Ryan works full time and a lot of my friends will obviously be in work, so who will I have cuppas, cake and catch ups with? To try and combat this I plan on making full use of the mother and baby classes that are available in our local area. I will also be seeing all my friends who have also have babies and may also feel the same stuck at home and failing that I am sticking with the theory of ‘if in doubt, go out’. We are lucky that we live close to beaches and countryside and it would be quite easy to grab the pram or baby carrier, jump in the car and go for a walk and get some fresh air.

Going Back to Work, Childcare and Balance

So, once I have finally wrapped my head around maternity leave, before I know it, it will be time to think about going back to work. How do you know when it’s the right time, how do you sort out and afford childcare and how do you decide what is the best for your family to have a balance between work and still being around for your baby and family? Again, these are all things I don’t have the answer to, but they do play on my mind. I have a few options I am looking at and working on, so hopefully this issue may resolve on it’s own, but until then I am clueless. 

I fully appreciate that this post is just a long list of all my worries about maternity leave and to some it may sound silly or irrelevant, but that doesn’t make them any less real for me. I am sure that as a family we will make all of these things work and whatever happens will be the best thing for us, but I think it’s good to talk about these things, throw ideas and suggestions around as I am sure I can’t be the only person who has considered these things. 

Did you have any worries about maternity leave, or do you have any suggestions if you have been on maternity leave before? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so please leave me a comment below.

You can catch up with my first trimester update here and second trimester updates here and here. I also have lots of pregnancy update vlogs here too!

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14 Comments

  1. Erin
    February 20, 2019 / 12:29 pm

    Childcare is EViL. My son is 7 and it’s still a nightmare. Not being able to make plans without it being a mission 🙁 I miss that! But they are worth it!

    Erin

    • Laura
      Author
      March 5, 2019 / 5:28 pm

      Yeh I have heard this so much. I am hoping we can work something out, but I don’t think it will be a walk in the park! x

    • Laura
      Author
      March 5, 2019 / 5:23 pm

      It certainly is, but I am sure I will be kept busy and there will be other things that take over and occupy my mind lol. x

  2. February 24, 2019 / 8:05 pm

    I think the thing with maternity leave is that everyone puts so much pressure on it and how you should do this, do that and savour every moment but you just need to do what works for you and your family, no one else. xx

    • Laura
      Author
      March 5, 2019 / 5:22 pm

      Definitely, I could not agree more!

  3. February 26, 2019 / 7:07 pm

    There’s lots of things that can make you anxious before having a baby but honestly you’ll embrace the changes more than you think x

    • Laura
      Author
      March 5, 2019 / 5:21 pm

      Thank you, I hope so! I am sure it will all be fine and I will look back and not even know why I was worried. x

  4. March 3, 2019 / 2:33 pm

    I can’t imagine the changes you’re going through and what you’re feeling, but I hope you feel better soon! x

    • Laura
      Author
      March 5, 2019 / 5:21 pm

      Thank you, I am sure it will all work out in the end (just a little bit scary at the moment). x

  5. March 5, 2019 / 12:33 pm

    You look amazing! My sister was worried out mat leave but she ended up loving it, I hope it works out for you the same ♥︎

    Alicia Xo

  6. March 5, 2019 / 12:33 pm

    You look amazing! My sister was worried out mat leave but she ended up loving it, I hope it works out for you the same ♥︎

    Alicia Xo

  7. March 5, 2019 / 12:33 pm

    You look amazing! My sister was worried out mat leave but she ended up loving it, I hope it works out for you the same ♥︎

    Alicia Xo

  8. March 30, 2019 / 8:46 am

    I loved the first weeks of maternity leave – when I could rest and relax, had a little routine going and it was all lovely. Then I actually had the baby and it became a whole other thing! Getting out of the house every day became vital for my sanity – what a lot of new mums don’t realise is that toddler groups have baby areas, so for £1-2 you can go to a toddler group (often in a church hall) meet other new mums and someone will bring you cups of tea! Absolute life saver. We went to one almost every weekday morning between 10 and 12 as it got us out of the house and meant half the day had been used up without me having to do anything about it! It was also a good way of making friends with people who had slightly older children – reassuring source of advice and practical skills.
    As for when to go back to work – I was stupid and stuck it out at home for a year even though I wanted to return earlier. With hindsight I should have arranged to go back earlier – don’t ignore what your gut is telling you!

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